Exclamation Points Don't Cost Extra

by Ben Carter

Everyone knows that each American gets one exclamation point to use at the beginning of each year. These exclamation points carry over, so if you are an especially droll person, you might enter middle age with twenty-five or thirty in the bank. Most people find a need to use their yearly allotment each year.

What is less well known is that certain classes of people get special dispensation to use more than one exclamation point each year. This includes Spanish-speakers (they get an extra to invert and place at the beginning of their one exclaimed sentence each year), LOLCAT creators, people with Tourette's, and cake decorators. 

Come on, Dairy Queen. Try a little.